Maybe “okay” will be our “always”.
- John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
WE ARE NOT ABNEGATION.
WE ARE NOT DAUNTLESS.
WE ARE DIVERGENT.
AND WE CAN'T BE CONTROLLED.
My name is Hazel. Augustus Waters was the great sat-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won’t be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into a puddle of tears. Gus knew. Gus knows. I will not tell you our love story, because-like all real love stories-it will die with us, as it should. I’d hoped that he’d be eulogizing me, because there’s no one I’d rather have…” I started crying. “Okay, how not to cry. How am I-okay. Okay.”
I took a few deep breaths and went back to the page. “I can’t talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a Bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I’m likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got.
But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.
We’re fickle, stupid beings with poor memories
and a great gift for s e l f d e s t r u c t i o n
Shailene Woodley | Marie Claire & The Cinema Society Screening of ‘Divergent’ (2014)